Living a Humanist Life

More Specific Principles

(1) Act with honesty and integrity in your personal, family, work and public life.

Honesty and integrity are keys to good relationships, our cooperating well with others, finding solutions, resolving problems and building a better future for us individually, our families, our communities, our societies in general as well as for our broader humanity. Honesty and integrity help to build and continue our relationships. They serve to build trust and bring people together. We need to be able to trust each other and believe in each other’s words and deeds if we are to work, survive and thrive with others and sustain rich, healthy and positive relationships with others, with those we love most, with our families, at work, in our communities, societies and beyond.

(2) Resolve differences and disputes wherever possible through discussion, cooperation, mutual understanding and respect.

Dispute and disagreements between individuals, between groups and within communities and societies are likely in pursuit of the well-being of ourselves, others, our communities, societies and beyond. It is essential that we aim to resolve such disagreements and disputes as peacefully as possible, cooperatively through talk, discussion, listening to others, with a sense of respect for the humanity of others, aiming to understand their points of view (or at least the origins and reasons for those points of view) and that we work to develop our abilities to act cooperatively and find constructive successful solutions. Where the actions and beliefs of others seriously threaten the well-being of others, ourselves and our communities, and where efforts at cooperation and compromise are proving unsuccessful, then, dependent on circumstances and situations, we will likely need to be strong and robust in our responsive actions in order to support the well-being of ourselves and others and to avoid or reduce the possibility of significant suffering and pain.

(3) Never pursue revenge

Pursuing revenge is destructive for everyone, both for the person or group aiming for revenge and for those who may or will be the target of that revenge. While it is a necessity to effectively tackle those who engage in acts which may seriously damage us, other individuals, our communities, societies and beyond, the purposes of our actions must be to ensure the well-being of each individual (including those who have engaged in or are engaging in such acts), of our communities, and societies, of our broader humanity, and to reduce pain and suffering. Nor we should ever conspire against others over time in self-contained vengeful silence or in secretive and hidden ways. Revenge is by its nature destructive for everyone.

(4) Do not use aggressive violence; do your utmost to avoid taking physical action against others; and do your utmost to prevent others taking part in and engaging in aggressive violence.

We must never engage in aggressive violence against others, which is by its nature against core principles of supporting the well-being of others and reducing pain and suffering. Aggressive violent action is heinous and damaging. Where others are planning or engaging in aggressive action against ourselves and others, then it is necessary for us to engage in all practical steps to prevent such aggressive violence and prevent harm, pain and suffering. Under various circumstances, having engaged in cooperative and peaceful efforts to prevent such aggressive violence, forceful physical action may be necessary for the purposes of defence of ourselves or others from physical threats and such aggressive, violent, physical action. This action should be implemented at the minimum level necessary to avert danger, pain and suffering, and should cause the minimum necessary pain and suffering to those adopting aggressive violence. Such physical action should be taken where there is no reasonable and viable alternative available, and therefore should be taken only once other, if not all other, reasonable and practical alternative strategies for defence and protection, and all other actions and strategies to support the avoidance of significant pain and suffering, have been considered, evaluated, and where reasonable, tried and failed.

(5) Develop your personal skills, your understanding and knowledge about both yourself and the world around you.

Learning, knowledge and understanding support our individual well-being, happiness and fulfillment as well as supporting us in preventing, reducing and removing pain and suffering. Thus we must pursue the development of our own personal learning and understanding and support learning and education for ourselves and all others. There is always more to be learned at whatever stage of life we find ourselves. In pursuit of learning, knowledge, skills and understanding, it is generally necessary to engage in conscious, deliberate effort and indeed practical personal research, in order to discover the new, and to verify and ensure the truth of what we consider we already know.

Mistakes based on inadequate knowledge, understanding and skill are inevitable for ourselves and others, and need to be acknowledged with generosity and patience. Where such mistakes are made they need to be avoided as far as possible into the future, through our identification and recognition of our own errors, and through our pursuit of new solutions, knowledge, understanding and skills development. Such development of abilities, skills and knowledge is relevant to the vast range of areas in our working and broader social lives and enables us to contribute better to our own lives, the lives of others, individuals, family, communities, and societies, as well as our broader humanity, supporting our own well-being and the well-being of all.

(6) Be a participant not just an observer.

We need to engage in an active and practical manner with the world around us, taking part in action to make the world better, both locally and beyond. This is part of living a life of well-being and happiness. We must do what we can, in practice, to contribute to ourselves and others, whether it be using our technical or artistic skills to fulfill needs; whether it be using our thinking skills, our experience, our skills in speaking and listening in order to support others with the appropriate advice or to mediate in discussions, consultations and local actions to ensure the correct actions are taken; whether it be using our talents to support others in experiencing interest fun and joy, supporting our own well-being and happiness and the well-being and happiness of others. We all seek personal fulfillment and this can be achieved in different ways, nevertheless participation, practical engagement and activity and action are crucial to a deep sense of well-being and personal fulfillment.

(7) Support the independence and autonomy of others.

Our own personal independence, freedom and autonomy are essential for our well-being and happiness, and we need to act to ensure we can enjoy these as far as is possible. Crucially, we also need to respect all others as human beings with a self, with their own individuality, their own perspectives and their own human validity. Each of us needs and wishes to feel to an important degree autonomous, free, and have a sense of independence as far as is possible and we each wish for and need to be viewed by others as having such autonomy, with our having personal freedom and the capacity for personal choices in our own lives, within the context of our responsibilities to others, and core and other principles.

Another individual’s views and actions may be different to ours, may even in some cases be offensive to our way of seeing the world. Nevertheless we each of us need to understand who these people are, and why they think as they do. We need to aim to understand others in terms of their individuality, their social and psychological background, and of course consider whether in terms of our principles they may not in fact be correct and indeed more in tune with the promotion of well-being and the reduction of pain and suffering than we are ourselves. This, of course, may not always be the case. Nevertheless, this type of approach respects autonomy, individuality and humanity, which are essential elements of our well-being and happiness.

Thus, wherever possible and reasonable, where there are differences, we must first aim to understand, empathise, discuss and then, where appropriate and reasonable, aim to persuade. That being said, where others, through their words or actions indicate or represent substantial threat to ourselves and others, we cannot allow those offering such threats, those prepared to act with cruelty and violence and in damaging, unjust ways, to enact their cruelty, violence and injustice or to gain power and control, over ourselves and others such that they are able to damage the well-being of, and cause pain and suffering to, ourselves or our fellow human beings.

(8) Pursue justice.

Our well-being requires justice, not just for ourselves but for all others. Justice requires fairness and fair treatment from ourselves to others and from others to ourselves. It involves respect for others as individuals and respect from others for us as individuals. A life of full well-being requires us to assert our own need for, and indeed our own achievement of personal justice and fairness as far as is possible, and it requires us to act to reduce, remove and prevent injustice, pain and suffering for ourselves and all others. It is our responsibility to work to remove the pain and suffering of injustice from ourselves and others as far as we can, such that pain and suffering stemming from injustice will be reduced or ideally, as far as that is possible, be entirely ended. We must work for justice and act against behaviour and conduct that unfairly, unjustly, wantonly, unreasonably, recklessly, callously and uncaringly, damages our own well-being and happiness, and the well-being and happiness of others.

(9) Be fair to yourself.

We must do our best, try our best, to achieve our goals, to support our own well-being and the well-being of others, and to prevent both ourselves and others from suffering unnecessary pain, harm and suffering. Nevertheless there are times when we must focus on being fair to ourselves as individuals and recognize that we are doing and have done all we can, and that, for example, further action at that moment may damage our personal well-being and happiness in a manner beyond what would be a reasonable sense of failure and disappointment in being unable to presently achieve goals.

Being fair to ourselves, we should be careful to avoid too much self-admonishment and criticism, too many feelings of guilt and inadequacy, imposing too much pain on ourselves, where goals are proving difficult to achieve or are not achieved. In reality we are one amongst many and we are certainly not all powerful and capable of achieving everything we wish to achieve. But we must do what we can, and this should involve doing much, trying our best, aiming to devise new strategies to support the achievement of our goals, new ways to succeed, even though in some cases we may choose to set aside some goals and temporarily work in other directions, as a means to support both our effectiveness and our well-being. Nevertheless, we must be fair to ourselves in our efforts to live and to achieve, and therefore, in line with our goals and desires, we must allow ourselves (and others), according to our personal, individual nature, goals and desires, some pleasures, entertainments, leisure, relaxation, time to do nothing, as part of our aim of achieving personal well-being and happiness for ourselves and others.

(10) Pursue the material things and resources which are necessary for our well-being but don’t be greedy.

Sufficient possessions, money and sufficient wealth are a necessity, but material things and money should not be over-valued or become ends in themselves that supplant our search for personal well-being, happiness and fulfillment and that supplant support for the well-being, happiness and fulfillment of others. It is unacceptable to pursue the accumulation of money and goods simply for the sake of accumulation, for personal aggrandisement or in such a manner that the well-being, happiness and fulfillment of others is significantly damaged. Accumulation of material things and resources for such purposes or in such a manner is not only detrimental to our own well-being, but threatens or ignores the well-being of others. It is however, reasonable and consistent with core principles, for us as individuals to aim to acquire money and possessions so that we can achieve, amongst other goals, a level of comfort in our lives, achieve pleasures and enjoyment, gain resources so that we can invest in new adventures, new ventures, invest in our education, invest in new futures and such that we can support the welfare and well-being of others.

We also need to ensure that our communities and societies, our social institutions, our global social entities, have material things and resources, such that we, through these social entities can perform those organized social functions which support our well-being, happiness and fulfillment and serve to reduce and prevent our pain and suffering. Nevertheless we have to work to resist, reduce, ameliorate or remove social pressures and actions, social and economic systems which promote personal greed and excessive material accumulation as ends in themselves, at the significant expense of others. And as individuals, together with others, we must ensure we focus on supporting the broader well-being, aiming to reduce and prevent pain and suffering.

(11) While there are general patterns and rules of thumb that may support our actions and decisions, individual challenges and problems often need individual solutions and judgments.

The core principles presented in the Living Humanism guide are considered fundamental in terms of determining our personal conduct, and other principles are also considered of central and significant value and import for our well-being and happiness. Our application and manner of application of these principles are, of necessity,

contingent on the varying situations we face in our daily lives which are complex, being influenced by many different factors, in particular the different people involved in these situations with their different conduct, personalities and behaviours. Relationships vary too of course; we, and other people, vary with time as do complex events, the series of events surrounding circumstances and situations; the way we personally feel and think varies with time and the consequences of our decisions and actions vary because of the changing situational factors involved and their interplay.

Thus, while general rules of thumb and our conscious adoption and learning of patterns of conduct and action can make life more simple, providing a sound basis for our decisions and actions, our reality is that varying circumstances and situations often require subtle, individual judgments to support the best decisions and optimal actions when we pursue core principles, and act to support our own well-being and the well-being of others.

(12) Maintain regard and care for others, spend time on caring for others and looking after their well-being, but also focus on pursuit of your own pleasures, enjoyment, fulfillment and happiness.

It is core to our well-being and the well-being of others that we focus on others, care for them and look after them. Engaging in such actions supports our personal well-being in many ways, for example through our own direct pleasures in supporting others and through the strengthening of our communities, and societies as well as our broader humanity as contexts full of well-being and happiness. However, while always maintaining a significant effort in regard to contributing to our families, communities, societies and the broader world, it is beneficial and necessary to our well-being for us to focus to some extent on more directly pursuing and enjoying our more personal pleasure, happiness, enjoyment and fulfillment, taking into account the well-being and happiness of others, and understanding the relationship between our own well-being and the well-being of others.

We have multiple goals and purposes in life, our gaining pleasure, fulfillment and happiness from serving others being crucial to our well-being. However, our well-being is also supported through a more direct and personal focus on our own pleasures, joys, satisfactions and fulfillments, our aiming to experience the greatest pleasures and personal enrichment, finding personal happiness and fulfillment as far as we are able.

(13) Maintain a sense of skepticism and doubt about beliefs and statements, but when required, take decisions with commitment and take the necessary action.

In regard to many important beliefs and statements, it is worthwhile maintaining a sense of skepticism and disbelief. This skepticism supports us in the finding of effective and truthful understandings and answers which benefit our personal well-being and the well-being of others. Such skepticism enables us more easily to move into thinking in different ways and developing new and effective thinking and ideas. It also enhances our personal autonomy, responsibility and independence. While we certainly do need to listen to, pay attention to, evaluate and where necessary and justified, accept the ideas of others, we also need to remain skeptical in particular about many of the statements made by those with authority and power, due to the propensity of some, if not many of those with authority and power to use insufficient and false evidence for their own purposes. However, even where there is reasonable authority and substantial evidence gained in acceptable ways, it is important to question, investigate other perspectives and continually weigh the evidence, adopting those beliefs and actions supported by sound evidence and argument that lead to the most effective and truthful answers. In this respect we also need to be somewhat skeptical about our own thinking, ideas and actions.

Our skepticism is not an excuse for inertia nor is it an excuse to thoughtlessly reject everything. While it is often reasonable to be skeptical, we must also aim to find value in ideas and actions, such finding of value being helpful to us as individuals, communities, societies and beyond. And we must also aim to be supportive of others, even if we are concerned about the validity of certain ideas they are expressing. While skepticism is often appropriate, in terms of real life actions, it should be carefully expressed and should not become negative and destructive cynicism or become continuously and destructively critical.

In reality, there are some answers which are more correct than others, determined by core principles, reason and evidence, and we may, under some circumstances need to make choices about what those most correct answers are. In practical daily life our actions and decisions will be best supported by a sense of belief that we are taking the most appropriate actions under the circumstances, nevertheless we need always to be open to alternative ideas and must be prepared to change our thinking and modify our beliefs and actions.

(14) Aim to achieve in practice.

We need to achieve in practice, in a manner which has a beneficial effect on both the world outside us and on our own well-being. Thinking well and developing our thinking are of crucial importance and can be enjoyable and enhance well-being in themselves. Yet the effectiveness of that thinking must be determined largely through its practical application through the effects of words and actions, through the effects of our personal conduct, the consequences of which may, in some cases, not be immediate. Moreover the need to achieve in practice means that good intentions and positive feelings towards others are not enough. Practical action which achieves important goals of supporting ourselves and helping and supporting others is required to accompany these sentiments. This action may include deeds which may be small but which help ourselves and others. It may mean use of words of inspiration, support and love, to good effect. It may include being part of, contributing towards and realizing major achievements and projects that benefit the well-being of ourselves and the many.

(15) Do not discriminate unfairly against others because they are different in innate features such as sexuality, colour, physical characteristics, ethnicity and race.

While there are innate differences between us all, unfair discrimination against others because of their race, gender, sexuality, colour or other innate or physical characteristics is unacceptable. Indeed we must not destructively or unfairly discriminate against others for whatever reason, be that reason events in the past, on the grounds of poor relationship, cultural background or their holding of opinions and beliefs consistent with core principles, which do not meet our expectations or conform with social norms. Unfair and unjust discrimination is destructive of ourselves, others and destructive of our communities and society as a whole, as well as our broader humanity, damaging well-being and causing direct pain and harm.

(16) Live life to the full, enjoying all the pleasures and fulfillment that life can bring.

Tied to the more specific principle 12 above, we need to live life to the full. There are so many pleasures, so many joys and there is so much fulfillment that can be gained in life. Pleasures may be as varied as enjoying a mountain view, a view of the countryside, the sense of success when a goal is achieved, the pleasure of arriving home after a day’s labour at work, sharing laughter with and being with friends, the joy of holding someone close or making love with someone we care for deeply, the wonderful feeling of being appreciated by others, hearing the sounds of our children playing together, the joys of music, the pleasures of beautifully presented and excellent tasting food, relaxing on a holiday beach or elsewhere, and of course much else.

All of these pleasures and more should be pursued. They enhance our well-being and happiness. And there is joy and fulfillment from these pleasures and much more. Some of our pleasures are more personally

focused, but there is substantial pleasure and fulfillment in focusing on others and in supporting and making their lives better, in supporting our communities, societies and our broader humanity, as well as being recognized for our contributions to others, where this occurs. We should, if we can, as far as possible, through our lives, ensure we are enjoying and allowing ourselves to experience and enjoy, the deepest and richest pleasures of life.

(17) Be prepared to forgive.

We undoubtedly all do things wrong, and make mistakes and misjudgments in our lives. We may make misjudgments and errors in terms of our personal conduct, sometimes significantly hurting and damaging others, often perhaps when we have no intention of doing so. Where appropriate, we need to be able to forgive ourselves and be prepared to forgive others. With regard to the more substantial mistakes and misjudgments of others, some of which may have been conducted with deliberation, some of which may have hurt and damaged us, some of which may have hurt and damaged others, we do need, where we can, to be prepared to forgive those who have done such deeds, especially where those who have done such deeds have committed errors of judgment rather than intending to hurt or where those who have done destructive deeds are transparently, and without significant doubt, committed to never repeating such actions and are working to support the well-being and happiness of others.

Our giving and stating of forgiveness may mean greater well-being and happiness for ourselves, helping us set aside feelings of anger, bitterness and resentment. Such forgiveness may support a more peaceful, cooperative community and societal or global environment. It may also enable those who have substantially damaged and hurt others to move forward and contribute positively in the future to our communities, societies and beyond. Nevertheless, the decision to be forgiving and state forgiveness to another who has substantially hurt and damaged us, or others, who perhaps we are or have been close to, is ours alone. We are the ones who have experienced the hurt, pain and injury, and the decision to forgive is down to us. However we must never seek revenge, which is destructive of all.